Yesterday was the Outback Champion Series Tennis Tournament. Bob asked if I wanted to come along.
Hmm, I played tennis in high school. Free food and booze? I’m in.
I had a million things to do yesterday (cook, clean, wash floors, laundry) and wanted it done before we left. I ran upstairs to get ready, (which is the equivalent of throwing the hair in a pony tail and making sure I applied deodorant) and got Shaye a new diaper.
Bob was already in the car. I told him the baby needed to be changed. He rolled his eyes, extremely irritated.
“We are going to be late!”
Huh? Who cares. Does the bar close early?
We go back into the house, and he’s pacing while I primp my little sweetie for a day out. Who knows if she’ll get on tv! It is being broadcast SOMEWHERE.
Bob kept rushing me. “Are you ready yet? Are you ready to go….”
We get in the van, and he knows I am proud of the fact I still have 3/4 of a tank of gas during our crippling shortage here in the Carolinas. It pisses me off beyond belief when he GUNS it. Dude, this is not your pick up truck. Stop wasting my gas.
Bob rarely has road rage, but all of the way there he’s shouting, “come on! can we go SLOWER??? This is ridiculous. UGH, Traffic. We are SO late.”
He and his partner/pal Drew kept calling each other. Bob’s talking in a feverish frenzy. I never realized he was so into tennis. *roll eyes*
He bitched all of the way to the parking area because, *gasp* we have to walk SO far, and it will take forever if we try and wait for a shuttle.
“We’re so late…we are so late”.
The phone rings. I hear him tell Drew, “well she was taking forever…
…..NO! NO WAY. DAMN.” He hangs up.
“We just missed Anna Kournikova in the tent.”
I’m sorry? Oh right. I probably give a shit.
Apparently he did. He and Drew chatted about it like 2 school girls for what seemed like an eternity. Her outfit, her hair, her….oh are you kidding me? So it’s finally her turn to play. Bob has me taking pictures with his phone to send his brothers. Bragging, nice. I didn’t realize this was like the coming of a second messiah.
On the ride home, friends and family are calling him. “Oh man, wow…oooooh….ahhhhh”.
Of course I’m snickering- at first. Then, Bob turns to me and gives me a compassionate, serious face and said, “you know what though, I think she’s too skinny.”
Thankfully I was in a bloody mary coma or he may have lost some teeth.
Last night was also the Stepford Block Party. We decided to take the girls up there, and let them have ice cream for dinner.