IT WAS RAINING INSIDE OF MY HOUSE.
Our flight was Saturday afternoon. I tossed the babies in the tub for a bath before we left, and as they splashed around, I folded towels in my bathroom closet. I went to the basket, returned to the closet and heard “hiss-hiss-hiss”. What the hell is that? Shrugged it off, continued to fold…
is that water coming from the shelving nails? Hiss-hiss……
SHIT. Within a few minutes, water was pouring out of every hole. I screamed for Bob, he ran in, took off to the water heater where we discovered the hissing sound was a pipe explosion in the wall with water pouring out. Within 15 minutes, I had hundreds of gallons of hot water pouring through the dining room chandelier downstairs. I ran into the dining room with one thing on my mind, KATE SPADE CHINA. Everyone else was running around getting buckets, but I’m no fool, I was grabbing armloads of china. The ceiling was weeping Poltergeist style by the time I was finished. So here we are, packed and ready to go to Texas and it is effing raining in my house. Bob reassured me that there was nothing I could do, it was better to take the girls away while things were repaired and cleaned up, so we left for Texas.
DELTA AIRLINES SUCKING AS USUAL.
I had one suitcase with all of our things in it. I figured it would be worth paying to check the one big bag and the spare carseat. We got on the plane for ATL, and sat on the tarmac for 30 minutes. We only had a 45 minutes layover in ATL, are you kidding? We finally took off, got to ATL, had 20 minutes to run down the concourse, stop for a pee and diaper change, and hop the train to the next concourse.
We land in Austin and the girls all had to go to the bathroom. I’m digging through my diaperbag to change Shaye’s diaper, and as I was holding her just the wrong way, she managed to piss all over me.
We head over to wait for the luggage. And wait. And wait. Now we are alone.
Our luggage and carseat are lost. We reported it, and the lost luggage man tells us that they’ll try to get it to us that night *if*
it comes in on the next Atlanta flight. They gave us a loaner carseat for Shaye (thank GOD I didn’t check Brinn’s Britax and the go-go babyz
) and we headed to my Aunt’s house.
I HATED DELTA WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
Of course, the luggage didn’t come that night. Of course, it didn’t magically appear on the steps in the morning, either. They had given us a number to call, and an email address for questions. Uh huh. The phone was off the hook, and the email kicked back because it wasn’t a valid address. I spent three hours on the phone trying to locate a human that might work for Delta. And I DID get a human on the phone three times, only get hung up on every single time. My mom and aunt drove TO the airport at noon hoping our crap was there, but they were informed that it was on a cargo van en route to us. I needed diapers, and headed to the store in loaner pajamas (remember I got peed on?). The cargo-van man called my aunt, who missed the call, and instead of just leaving our shit at the house, took it BACK to the airport and dumped it there. Our crap reached us 24 hours later because the new van man called and my Aunt, who ripped him a new one to hurry UP. The delivery man was lucky I was wearing a borrowed bathing suit drinking margaritas.
BURST PIPES 2.0
Bob went to work Monday, only to have Bryce call him a few hours later to inform him it was once again, raining in the dining room. The pipe blew in a new spot.
WE’VE GONE FROM A HEADACHE TO CONCUSSION
During Cleanup, Bob smashed his head and ended up in the ER with a concussion.
MY MOTHER DECIDED TO GET IN ON THE DRAMA, SHAYE AND BRINN TOO.
My mother’s bridge blew in her mouth, and she ended up at an emergency dentist in Austin. They got home from the dentist, and the girls wanted to go swimming. I was texting Bryce to see how Bob’s catscan was going and I hear, “kerplunk!” Shaye went tumbling right into the pool, and I jumped in (fully clothed, skirt and top) to pull her out. I will also mention, Brinn can swim without floaties, because when she whipped them at my head refusing to wear them while sitting on a giant turtle float, she fell OFF (another “kerplunk”) but managed to doggie-paddle like a madwoman, trying not to sink…
LAST BUT NOT LEAST…
So yesterday we came home only to get stuck on the tarmac for over an hour from ATL to CLT due to thunderstorms, and when Bob went to pull out of the garage to pick us up, my van had a flat tire.