Friday.

A new neighbor had a peculiar

way of introducing herself to the

neighborhood.

What a brilliant idea! She called the police on a small group of 5-8 year old children playing with sidewalk chalk.

Apparently the cul-de-sac that the children always play in is now her territory. I wonder if she also marked trees in the yard with her urine too?

She was taking pictures and making obnoxious comments about the children being near her car. Funny thing is, it’s a cul-de-sac. The driveways and garages in Stepford are located BEHIND the houses. Some roads have designated parking areas- you know, painted parking spots that clearly define “park here”. Not in the cul-de-sac.

The police officer did his civic duty and showed up, laughed at her and left.

Saturday.

My neighbor fills me in on the cheerful new addition to our street.

So of course we send our girls down to play in the cul-de-sac.

Well, she’s obviously a very elegant gal, screaming the “F” word repeatedly at her husband while talking about our kids, referring to the neighborhood as “GHETTO” because they were drawing with chalk.

PLEASE… seek medical attention for whatever the hell it is you are suffering from.

So I think today I’m going to escort Maeve down there, maybe teach Brinn how to properly use her tricycle that she received for her birthday.

I would LOVE a chance to welcome her to the neighborhood, MY WAY.