Quote of the day. Happiness.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

~Frederick Keonig

Brinn is SO curious at how the tiny seeds we planted back in May, have turned into something...

AMAZING!!

Check out this cooking clown.

Seriously, this blog makes me laugh my ass off. http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com/
He takes terrible pictures, (I mean, really really bad) but we'll let it slide because it's funny.

Image by RobertFrancis via Flickr

I'm thinking he doesn't work much, because he just started a second blog : http://funnyforeignfood.blogspot.com/
Do you know how many times I've thought the same thing (about some foreign foods being weird- blood sausage? REALLY?)

Anyway, if you like food blogs, check these out.

Salsa. I don't care if you hate green peppers.

Make it yourself. You'll never regret it.
Well, unless you get jalapeno juice in your eye.

8 Roma tomatoes, seeded, dice by hand
1 chopped green pepper, maybe 2
1 small onion
1 or 2 garlic cloves minced
handful of cilantro
2 jalapeno peppers, gutted. keep some seeds.
salt and pepper.

My salsa garden is out of control, but it makes me so happy to go out there every single day and find new things to pick. :)

I only posted this because the picture is pretty. I admit it.

According to Brinn, I'm generically blond.

Brinn tends to think every blond woman on television is me. I don't know why that is, but sometimes it's a compliment and I think "oh, you are so cute!"
Then, 2 weeks ago, I was watching Jon & Kate plus 8 and she blurted, "hey mom, there you are!" Um, I think not.


She topped it this morning while I was watching the Today show. They were cooking chicken burgers when Brinn said, "oh mom, you's make the bestest burgers". Awe, thanks baby. And then she said, "see, there's you are in the red shirt!"
Guess who she was referring to...

...


...



According to my 3 yr old, I look 68.

Sciatica.

Just look at that stupid word. SCIATICA.
I googled the phrase "where did the word sciatica come from" and #1???

99% of Pakistanis pronounce it SHAT TEE KA.

I'm sorry. Did I ask that? Was that what I was looking for? Really? No offense to Pakistan but here I am trying to google the history of this word that is all things shitty, instead I get a lesson in Punjabi 101.

I then googled, "who was Sciatic" because I thought there was a law somewhere that weird medical stuff was named after people? Google completely blew me off like, "hey stupid, you should know Sciatic was never a person, it's just that really effing annoying nerve in your ass and thigh that hates you so much it sends angry pulses through you right leg, because all legs should contain internal torture devices.

SCIATICA. You slap an A at the end of a word to create a "syndrome". Because the angry nerve in my thigh should rank up there with schizophreniA, bulimiA, AgoraphobiA, pyromaniA??

Dear Angry Sciatic Nerve,

Image via Wikipedia

Guess what? I hate you too. Just because prescription strength pain killers still don't stop your nagging doesn't mean I won't continue to try and destroy you. Quit antagonizing me every time I get into the van because you know what, I'm still going to Walmart whether you like it or not. Your irritability is really starting to piss me off, and sometimes, just sometimes your incessant badgering makes me act like an ass towards my kids. Leave the kids out of it, bully. This is the final straw, cuz this biatch is pulling out the big guns. Game OVER.
Tomorrow, I'm callin' the chiropractor.

Guy Fieri Killed his Taste Buds with Booze- Szechuan Green Beans.

Want some hot as hell Szechuan Beans? Well have at it. When I was a kid, my mom and I would go to the World's Best Grocery Store and she'd always buy us a monster container of Szechuan green beans from the deli. They were so amazing that I would eat the whole container in one sitting. Earthfare makes good ones too, but I figured it can't be that difficult to make them.

Guy Fiori's Hot as Hell Szechuan Beans.
2 cups canola oil, plus 1 tablespoon
1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 ounce hot chili garlic sauce
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons hoisin sauce
1 tablespoon mirin or white wine
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1 pound green beans, cleaned
2 tablespoons chopped peanuts
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley leaves

Directions
To medium Dutch oven, add 2 cups canola oil and heat to 350 degrees F.
In medium saute pan over medium heat, add 1 tablespoon oil. Add ginger and saute for 2 to 3 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 1 minute or until it turns light brown; quickly add soy sauce, chili sauce, rice wine vinegar, hoisin, mirin, sesame oil and cilantro.
Fry the green beans in the canola oil for about 45 seconds, or until beans turn dark green. Remove, strain, and add to sauce. Toss and garnish with peanuts and parsley

*note to self- next time, use less chili sauce (so my taste buds don't die), and more ginger.

Love Me Some Mojitos.

If you've gone out for drinks with me between the months of April-September, you know what my drink is and has been since 2004 when I was at a Cuban restaurant in Downtown Denver with a bunch of hootchie girlfriends. I love love love love me some mojito.
Yesterday Bob and I spent an hour trying to perfect a mojito. AN HOUR. And 2 trips to the store.
I used the traditional mojito recipe. (according to this site) And made it EXACTLY the way it says. I truly almost died. Between the lime and rum it took my breath away like sniffling rubbing alcohol. Confectioner's sugar was SO pointless. Every friggen drink recipe calls for simple syrup and there's an obvious reason- you need LIQUID sweet.

After consulting 8 websites, multiple recipes and 2 gallons of mojito later, (yes, GALLONS) we came up with this recipe and it tastes good.
My Mojito
1 part clear rum
1 part lime juice (or a little less depending on your love of lime)
2 1/2 parts club soda
1 part simple syrup (to which I added the mint)

Muddled mint

Simple Syrup: 1 cup of pure sugar cane crystals, 1/2 cup water. I tossed them in a sauce pan with about 6 mint leaves, brought it to a boil, sugar dissolved and mint infused and let it cool.

I used a lot of mint, but if you don't love it, add as much as you like. Slice up a lime and add ice. And a straw, a straw will make you happy in a hurry. I also don't have proper Tom Collin's glasses, but who notices that when I use flashy neon green straws?
Next time I try it though, I'm going to use my Blue Agave Syrup. I think it could do the trick too.

Carolina Pulled Pork and KFC Slaw.

My friend Gina and her family moved away from us, *sniffle*, and relocated last year. To celebrate their visit back to the Carolinas, we HAD to serve Carolina pulled pork sandwiches.

My mom had given me a jar of Williams-Sonoma Pork Essential Starter Sauce. The label said to use it with a 3 1/2 lb shoulder, but I used two almost 4 pounders. I doubled the meat, and it turned out perfect with just one jar.

I popped the pork in the roasting pan at 8am, put on the lid, set the oven to 200 and slow cooked it for almost 6 hours. Around 2pm I drained the liquid, and Gina removed the fat and shredded it.

KFC Coleslaw knock off.

1 head of cabbage

2 shredded carrots

1/2 minced onion

1/3 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup mayo

1/4 cup milk

1/4 cup buttermilk

2 1/2 tbsp lemon juice

1 1/2 tbsp white vinegar

salt and pepper to taste

I snagged this recipe from topsecretrecipes.com years ago, it's always a hit with a crowd. Of course it's perfect for those Carolinian pork sandwiches...

Blueberry Lemon Tart. *wince*

Holy crap, Tyler Florence! My eyes are watering lemon tears!

This recipe is not a quick one, there are plenty of steps at first. I also don't have a proper tart pan so the cheesecake had to do.

Here's the recipe for Tyler's super tartalicious

Lemon Blueberry Tart.

Ingredients
Pastry:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons sugar
Pinch kosher salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cold, in chunks
1 large egg, separated
2 tablespoons ice water, plus 1 teaspoon
Filling:
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup fresh lemon juice (about 5 lemons)
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 lemon, zested
Pinch kosher salt
1 pint blueberries
Directions
To make the pastry, pulse the flour, sugar, and salt together in a food processor. Add the butter and pulse until the dough resembles cornmeal. Add the egg yolk and 2 tablespoons ice water and pulse again until the dough pulls together. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and let it rest in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.
Roll the dough out on a lightly floured surface into a 12-inch circle. Roll the dough up onto the pin and lay it inside a 10-inch tart pan with a removable bottom. Press the dough into the edges of the pan and fold the excess dough inside to reinforce the rim. Cover the tart pan with plastic wrap and put it into the refrigerator for another 30 minutes to rest.
To bake the shell, heat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Put the tart pan on a baking sheet and prick the bottom of the dough with a fork. Cover the shell with a piece of parchment paper and fill it with pie weights or dry beans. Bake for 25 minutes. Remove the parchment and weights. Lightly beat the egg white with 1 teaspoon water and brush it onto the bottom and sides of the tart shell; set aside to cool.
Whisk together the eggs, sugar, lemon juice, cream, zest, and salt. Add the blueberries to the cooled tart shell and pour the filling over the blueberries. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. The curd should jiggle slightly when done. Cool to room temperature, remove from the tart ring, and serve